My cellphone's beeping sound woke me up one night. Used to
receiving important messages only, I grabbed my cell and sleepy
pushed the keys and read the message.
"Hi there! Care to be my textmate?"
Not knowing who the sender was, I deleted the message right away
and placed the phone on my bedside table, I tried to go back to
sleep.
I had just closed my eyes when I heard the message tone
again.
"Hi there, again! Care to be my textmate?" again, the message
said.
"Who the hell could this be asking for textmate at the wee hours of
the night?" I asked myself.
Again, without bothering to reply I deleted the message.
I was never a 'textmaniac' - someone who enjoys texting anyone and
everyone even at the wee hours of night, not to mention during the
day. My parents, who were always out of the country forced me to
own a cellphone. They told me that having one was more convenient -
they could monitor me even if they're miles away.
I wanted to turn the unit off, but since my mother was fond of
calling me at night, just to check if I was safe at home, I decided
not to.
Just as I was to close my eyes and return to my dreamless sleep,
the phone beeped again.
Same number...Such determination!
"Please reply to this message & be an angel & save me from
this abyss of emptiness!!!"
I never knew why, but the message struck me. I got up and pushed
the keys... I just realized I was replying to the message.
"Im not an angel, and u want someone to save u, I'm not superman...
I'm just a simple person whom you wake up at this hour of
mysleep!!! Anyway, do I know you?" I typed.
Seconds later came the reply.
"Nope. You don't know this lonely soul. Nor does she know you. But
I want to be ur friend. I'm Mikaella Cervantes. You?"
"Just call me Julius. How'd u get my number.?" I sent back.
"Hi Julius, nice to meet u. Just shuffled the last two digits of
mine," she replied.
That was the first and maybe the last time I met someone over the
cellphone.
We exchanged messages and learned so much about each other that
night. We only said goodbye when my alarm clock rang at 5:00am! I
had to prepare for school!
And that was also how it all started. A day would not pass without
it loving and thoughtful messages from her. It was only then I had
learned to appreciate text messages and become eager and excited
everytime my phone beeped, hoping it would be her.
Mikaella brought out something about me that I never knew I had; I
realized I could also be a romantic person... even if it's just
through text messaging.
"Keep me as a friend & I will keep you in my heart. Lock it up
& throw away the key so that no one can ever take you away from
me..."
One day, she sent this message to me.
I replied: 'In life, we seldom find a true prson & when you
ever find one, hold on & never let go... value tha person coz
it's a gift worth keeping & holding on..."
I never knew why, but her response sent shivers to my spine, "
Value the people who have touched your life because you will never
know just when they will walk out of ur life & never come back
again."
I couldn't understand what I felt that moment, but one thing I was
sure though... I could not go on a day without a single word from
her. I'd become used to having her, eventhough we had not met
personally. But truly, she already occupied a space, a large one,
in fact in my life.
I texted her back. "Don't come close f l8r ull jst pass by; don't
touch me f l8r ull just let me cry; don't love me f l8r ull just
leave me and won't stay..."
I didn't know why I sent her that message, but somehow I felt,
every word came from my heart. In the short span of time we were
sending messages to each other, I knew, I was starting to keep her
in my heart.
I called her once. The voice on the other end was like an angel's.
Soft, kind, full of love. Yet, there was something in it I couldn't
define. We only talked for a few minutes. Before she hung up, she
told me not to call again. According to her, it would be better if
we would just text each other.
But the voice kept ringing, not only in my head, but in my heart,
I'd long to hear it once more. I tried to call her again, but she
never answered the phone. She just kept on sending messages and
quotations, which I copied in a little notebook. Hopeless romantic?
I didn't know. All I could say was that all the messages she sent
me were wonderful, they came from the heart and cut through the
heart.
"Though we are miles apart, you are always in my heart. I close my
eyes & there you are. Even if I'll never see you, I'll always
be here to care for you, far longer than forever..."
One December night, she sent me this message. By that time we had
been exchanging messages for more than a month. God knew how happy
I was. She was right. Although we had not seen each other, what we
felt was enough to make us both realize what was keeping us
together.
I sent her another message, "Loving you secretly is a hard thing
for me to do,hoping, wondering that you will feel teh same waytoo,
but I can't read your mind if you love me too. But whatever it is,
I'll still be loving u."
"How I wish I could really tell u how much u mean to me, but I'm
afraid to love, scared to get hurt... I hope that you will wait for
me & pray that u will not get tired of loving me...=)" was her
reply.
And then I replied again. " The reason why I met you is because of
destiny but if destiny will suggest that I'll live without you,
then, I'll lie not by destiny but of free will."
Whenever I asked her when we would meet personally, she always
answered, "Soon...soon, love...soon."
Not seeing each other did not lessen, even a bit, what I felt for
her...rather, it even grew deeper and stronger each day. And I was
sure, she felt the same way, too. Love messages continued to flow
through our lines, between our hearts, which made us go on each day
with the thought that sooner, we would see each other, face to
face, heart to heart.
Just a few days before Christmas. She stopped sending messages. At
first I just though she had ran out of prepaid.
But there was something that kept bothering me... I couldn't
understand what was it, but it made me fell nervous. I tried to
call her but she wouldn't answer. Nevertheless, I continued sending
messages.
Suddenly one night, just three days before our Lord's birthday. I
heard my phone's message tone again... at last! It was from
her!
"Often sometimes we say goodbye to the one we love without wanting
to. Though that doesn't mean that we stopped loving them or we
stopped to care. Sometimes, GOODBYE is a painful way to say I LOVE
YOU."
I was dumfounded. I didn't know what to think of. What did she
mean? I texted her back, searching for answers, but found nothing.
I called her but she would not answer.
For the first time in my life, I felt so miserable...desperate...
empty. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to lose her. I had
learned to love her. And I wanted to be with her forever.
The following days I felt nothing but emptiness. It seemed that
Mikaella took the life out of me. I missed her so much...her
messages...The tones that would tell me she'd sent another loving
message. Nothing around me could feel the emptiness I felt.
Tut...tut...tut...tut...tut...just a day before Christmas, my cell
beeped again. It was her!
"Meet me at the café, 10 am today," I read aloud, making sure the
message was true, then I jumped with joy upon hearing from her
again. Hurriedly, I got myself ready and I went to the mall. I knew
it was still early, but I wanted to be there before she
arrived.
I arrived at the meeting place ten minutes earlier. I was surprised
to see her already there, smiling at me. She was very beautiful,
Black, deep-set eyes that spoke a thousand words; small, kissable
lips; a nose perfectly chiseled and long black hair - everything in
her was beautiful. And yes, her eyes radiated kindness and
love...but there was a flicker of something in
them...sadness?
"Hi, Julius," said the angelic voice I had been dreaming of each
night. The voice that I had waited to hear for so long. "Please sit
down." "I am very pleased to meet you, Mikaella," I said, as I took
my seat and gave the roses I brought for her.
"Thanks, Julius," she smiled, obviously pleased with the roses. I
knew she loved pink roses.
"You are always welcome, Love" "Julius, I can't stay," she said,
sadness in her voice, or was it tears? "I really must go."
"But we just met, Mikaella. Can't we talk a little longer?" I
asked, pleadingly.
"I can't really. I just came here to see you and thank you for the
time you shared with me. Thank you for everything, Julius. I will
never forget you...you will always be here in my heart."
She was looking at me straight into the eyes, and I could really
feel the sadness in her voice and I swear, there was something in
her voice and I swear, there was something in those lovely yet
lonely eyes...
She got up and smiled at me, lovingly.
"Tomorrow morning, please come and visit me," she said and gave me
a piece of white linen paper.
I read what was written and when I looked up, she was gone. The
following day, Christmas, I woke up early and excitedly readied
myself,thinking of her. I hurriedly went to flower shop and bought
a dozen pink roses - for Mikaella.
They lived in an exclusive subdivision.
Upon reaching their house, I told the guard who I was and that I
was looking for Mikaella.
The guard stared at me, sadness and amazement in his eyes and told
me to wait as he called the owner of the house. As I looked at him
while he was going inside the house, only then I noticed that the
house was brightly lit.
A woman went out and walked towards me, smiling sadly.
"Hi, I'm Maria, Mikaella's mother. Please come inside, Julius."
While we were walking towards the mansion, she explained to me why
she knew me very well - Mikaella had always been talking about her
friend, Julius. I hardly understood what she was saying. I was busy
thinking why Mikaella's mother was crying while talking to
me.
As we came near the great hall of the house, it dawned on me that
there was a wake inside, Maybe, a relative passed away, I thought.
But deep in my heart, I was trembling and afraid.
As we entered the hall where so many people were silently mourning
while others were praying, shaking, I asked her mother. "Where is
Mikaella?"
She held my hand and silently, led me to the coffin which was
surrounded by flowers - pink roses, nothing but pinkroses.
No words could explain how I felt when I gazed at the coffin and
saw who was lying there. The same beautiful girl I met...
A man came beside me, I knew he was Mika's father.
"We are so glad you came, Julius. Mika talked of you all the time.
She even asked that her phone be buried with her.
She said that in that way, you could still send her messages and
you would always be with her."
I couldn't believe everything... My mind was in limbo.
"But how can this be? We just saw each other yesterday."
"That can't possibly be. She passed away three days ago. She had
been suffering from a heart disease since she was a child," said
her father.
"But..." I couldn't find the words to say.
"She told us not to bother reaching you", her mother said, still in
tears, "she said you will come, and here you are."
Pain and bitterness overwhelmed me. I cried silently beside her,
staring at her lovely face, memorizing every line of my friend's
face, a face I knew I would never forget while I was still
alive.
After the internment that afternoon, I went to the chapel she
had
told me she went everyday.
Sitting there praying and crying to God, I held my phone and typed:
"You taught me how to care; you taught me how to be kind; u showed
me how to like someone; u showed me how to love; but then one thing
didn't teach me & it hurts more - you didn't teach me how to
let go. I LOVE YOU"
I sent the message, and though I knew she wouldn't be able to hold
her cellphone again, I knew in my heart she would get my message. I
never expected a reply, yet as my phone beeped again,felt a shiver
down my spine. The sender's number did not appear on the screen,
and tears rolled down my cheeks as I read the message.
"Let go of the hand of the person you love, but don't let go of
God's hand. For if u hold to his hand, he may be holding the person
you love and the another hand to let u hold each other
again."
"I will never forget you, Mikaella and will never let go..." I
vowed to her and to myself as I left the church.
